Why You Really Shouldn’t Follow Your Heart
As I was growing up, one of my family’s favorite animated Disney movies to watch was Mulan. If you haven’t seen it, you should. For my sister and me, it was an instant hit because of the main character. Mulan is a girl who disguises herself as a guy and joins the Chinese army. She does it to save her father, but along the way she realizes her self worth and begins to figure out who she really is. For my brother, Mulan was a favorite because of Mushu, Mulan’s miniature dragon sidekick. Eddie Murphy voiced Mushu, so you can imagine the humor the dragon adds to the movie. And now twenty five years later, my 3 littles love watching Mulan, too. In fact, we’ve even purchased the sequel to Mulan, creatively named Mulan II, which they also love. (Just the other night, we watched the live action version of Mulan. It was still good, but it didn’t have Mushu in it, so the kids gave it two thumbs down.)
I’ll be the first to say I appreciate Disney movies and the hours of entertainment they provided throughout my childhood. I’m also thankful for the hours of quiet they’ve afforded throughout my years of motherhood. However, I don’t always agree with Disney’s worldview. In fact, I’ve been known to pause a Disney movie playing in our van or family room and discuss how that particular movie’s scene was contrary to our Biblical worldview. (And each time I do this, my kids cry out in unified sing-song style complaint, “Mooo-ooom!”)
As good as Mulan and Mulan II are, these two movies are definitely, without a doubt, pause-worthy. I’ve hit pause on these movies so many times, my kids now know it’s coming. And here’s why: Mulan, like many other Disney princesses, lives by the mantra “follow your heart.”
And “follow your heart” is possibly the absolute worst advice anyone can give, even if it is from a beautiful Disney princess.
Our society’s answer for everything is to look within and follow your heart. This view assumes that the human heart is essentially good and can be trusted to guide us in the right direction. Friends, this is bogus and even dangerous advice.
The Worst Advice Disney Ever Gave
At first glance, the advice to “follow your heart” might seem harmless, perhaps even inspirational! Every Disney movie worth its salt says this line at least once. (Hallmark movies love it, too.) And it makes sense. We want our kids to live full, happy lives! I mean, don’t we want them to know they can be and do anything their hearts desire? Well, sorta, but no, not really. There are much more reliable things to follow instead of your heart. Let me explain.
Today’s society counsels kids (and even adults!) to FOLLOW YOUR HEART! We see the heart as the beautiful, pure, trustworthy center of our true selves. Our heart is where we form our own identity. It’s where we look for truth. Our heart helps us determine our destiny. Want to know what’s true (for you)? The world says, Follow your heart. Want to know who you really are? Follow your heart. Want to know which way you should go? Follow your heart. Want to know what to do next? Follow your heart. Our society’s answer for everything is to look within and follow your heart. This view assumes that the human heart is essentially good and can be trusted to guide us in the right direction. Friends, this is bogus and even dangerous advice.
The Bible’s Advice
As Christ-followers, we need to see the heart as the Bible sees it, not as the world sees it.
Contrary to what the world tells us, the Bible teaches that “the heart is deceitful beyond all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). Whoa. Did you get that? God’s Word says our hearts cannot be trusted. Instead of trusting our hearts, we should be suspicious of our hearts. The Bible tells us that we are all born sinful from the very beginning, which means our hearts are NOT inherently good. Instead, our hearts are self-centered, sinful, and flawed. Romans 3:11 tells us that, apart from God, “there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away and have become worthless.” The moment we emerge from the womb, our hearts are programmed to be for us and against God. Basically, the Bible teaches that the human heart is selfish and sinful. It cannot and should not be trusted.
Though it’s a nice sentiment to follow your heart, let’s be honest. Our hearts are impulsive and super emotional. If I were to make all my day-to-day decisions based on what my heart wanted, I would have killed several people, cussed out a lot more, and be fat and hopelessly addicted to chocolate. My heart is selfish! And a lot of times it overreacts. Or goes in the absolute wrong direction. Following my heart would actually get me in a lot of trouble.
The World’s Advice
The world’s advice to follow your heart is a symptom of a common illness called self-helpism. Teasi Cannon describes it best in her contribution to the book Mama Bear Apologetics: “according to self-helpism, I don’t have to deny myself or repent of anything. I only have to find myself. For Christ followers, its’t the opposite. We don’t truly live until we die - die to selfish desires that exalt us against the wisdom, love, guidance, and righteousness of our maker. We are called to surrender all,” not find and follow ourselves.*
That’s deep. You might want to read that again.
We are called to surrender all, not find and follow ourselves.
The whole “follow your heart” mantra boils down to your basic belief system.
Why are you here?
Whom do you serve?
Are you here for yourself or God?
The answer to these questions helps you know whom/what you should follow.
Duty or Dooty?
At one point in the Disney movie Mulan, she says, “By following my feelings, I wound up doing the right thing. I guess I’ve learned that my duty is to my heart.”
Hold up! Hit that pause button and tell your kids several things:
If you follow your feelings, you’ll do lots of things you’ll regret.
Your feelings (or heart) won’t lead you to do the right thing. In reality, following your heart will often lead you to do the selfish, sinful thing.
Your duty is to obey God, not your heart.
At the end of the day (or movie), I want my kids to know that following your heart is not their duty; it’s actually the opposite! Following your heart will actually leave you in deep dooty.
*(If you don’t have the Mama Bear Apologetics book, I highly recommend grabbing it. It’s a deep read, but it’s an EXCELLENT handbook on how to teach our kids to think for themselves through a Biblical lens. Check it out HERE. At the very least, check out the Mama Bear website with tons of resources HERE.)
