Building for the Wrong King
Ok, friends. I’ve been sitting on this one for a w h i l e. It’s been simmering and marinating and all those things, but my pot’s about to boil over. I can’t wait any longer. Get ready for a rant.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen several different graphics and memes on social media talking about some “new rules” for 2025. They’re all a bit different, but they all have one thing in common: absolute and ridiculous selfishness.
Here are just two of many examples:
One friend of mine posted:
“Rules for 2025:
Call who calls you
Visit who visits you
Ignore who ignores you.”
Another friend of mine posted:
“I am no longer filling cups that do not fill mine.”
So, in response to these posts and others like it, I say…
Really? REALLY?
First of all, folks, that’s super stupid. If we all lived by this mindset, then no one would call anyone. No one would visit anyone. Everyone would ignore everyone. And no one would fill anyone else’s cup. Someone has to make the first move in order for you to reciprocate (or not). So if you’re planning on adopting this as your new life dictum this year (ya big dummy), then you’d better hope no one else is. Because if we all sit around waiting on everyone else to make the first move, it’s going to be a very quiet, lonely, empty-cup kind of year.
Second, this is one of the most immature things I’ve ever heard. It sounds like a toddler pouting, crossing her arms across her chest and stamping her foot.
“He wasn’t nice to me, so I’m not gonna be nice to him.”
Good grief. Would you like some cheese with that whine? Should we all get out our violins while you cry?
GET A GRIP! Be the bigger person! Be confident enough, strong enough, forgiving enough, high-minded enough to look past other people’s mistakes and just be nice! Who you are and how you treat people should never be dictated by how others treat you. There’s not a single one of us who’s perfect. So if you’re relying on other people’s behavior to inform your own living, you need to reevaluate your role models. Find someone who’s perfect to look up to. (Spoiler alert: there isn’t anyone. Just Jesus.)
Imagine if other people were doing the same thing you’re suggesting. What if others were watching you to decide how they should live? How would that work out?
Self-centered.
Arrogant.
Compassionless.
Is this really the world we want?
Lastly, and most importantly, please realize that what you’re suggesting is that you, and all who agree with you, expect others to show you love while you refuse to show it to others. Doesn’t that kinda seem like a double standard? Plus, let’s just be honest: one-sided, conditional “love” isn’t really love at all.
Jesus said it best a long time ago when he was teaching on a hillside:
“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.
If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal?
Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity.
Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (Matt 5:43-48, The Message)
The world tells us that life is all about us. That we should only be about the people and things that make us happy. That we should love only those who love us first. That it’s ok to only love when it’s easy or convenient. But friends, that’s just not how love works! When we love the world’s way, we’re laser focused on building our own kingdom and sitting on the throne of our own lives. Just a heads-up: no one else wants to spend time in a kingdom ruled by that kind of self-centered, hard-hearted, tight-fisted king.
And by the way, the world doesn’t get to define love. In fact, it’s impossible to rightly understand and fully experience love apart from Jesus. The Bible tells us the only way we can even recognize, give, or receive love is because Christ loved us first (see 1 John 3:16). God is the author, perfector, and very first demonstrator of love. He’s like love’s OG. When we were (are!) unlovely, selfish, rebellious screw-ups, Jesus loved us (see Romans 5:8). He made the first move, despite who we were (and are). Who are we, the undeserving recipients of abundant grace and never-ending love, to turn around and refuse to love others?
If we are truly Jesus followers, then Calvary Love is our standard. Sacrificing, giving of ourselves, being uncomfortable or inconvenienced in order to love others well - that’s love in Kingdom living.
It’s not easy to love this way, but it’s kinda the basic goal in life - to become like Jesus. To live like He did. To love like He does. To build His kingdom, not yours, not mine.
If you’re “loving” any other way, you’re building for the wrong king.
