A Hard Amen

Everyone has their own traditions for celebrating this season of giving thanks. For me, when Thanksgiving rolls around, I definitely look forward to the food and time with family (not in that order, of course), but two other things also come to mind around this time of year. 

One is the song “Gratitude” by Nichole Nordeman. (You can listen to it here.) The other is a passage in Habakkuk chapter 3. And it never fails: when I revisit each of these every year, I want to raise my hands and shout “Amen!” One of my classes even read and analyzed the lyrics to the “Gratitude” song this week, and after reading it aloud to them, with tears in my eyes, I said, “Amen,” to which one of my students said, “what does Amen mean anyway?”

His question took me by surprise (middle schoolers have a way of keeping you on your toes), but I was delighted to take the opportunity to explain that Amen is a way of concluding or closing out a blessing or prayer. Amen is a way of saying, “Yep! I wholeheartedly agree” or “So true! Let it be so!” We say Amen when we want to affirm something or show our agreement, but saying it isn’t always pleasant or easy. Sometimes saying Amen is difficult.  We may affirm the truth of something in our heads and give an Amen from our mouths while our hearts, meanwhile, are grieving or doubting. Some Amens are hard.

That’s the way it is with both the Nordeman song and the Habakkuk passage. Both talk about an aspect of thankfulness we often gloss over until it comes around uninvited - giving thanks when we don’t get what we want or think we need. 

Nordeman’s song says, 

Daily bread, give us daily bread

Bless our bodies, keep our children fed

Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight.

Wrap us up and warm us through

Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs.

Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time.

Or maybe not, not today.

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

A lesson learned to hunger after You

That a starry sky offers a better view

If no roof is overhead

And if we never taste that bread

What a hard Amen…to give thanks when

what He gives isn’t what I want and

He stays silent and my heart says

my deepest desires are not yet met.

The prophet Habakkuk, inspired by the Holy Spirit, wrote about the same thing much longer ago:

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior. (Hab 3:17-18)

What a hard Amen…to give thanks when 

my work doesn’t seem to pay off so

I don’t see how I’ll make ends meet.

I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel and 

I don’t know how this could possibly work out. 

Every year, I’ll listen and read and say Amen, but it’s not easy. It’s a hard Amen. It’s hard to understand why God chooses to act or not act in certain ways at certain times. It’s hard to trust what you can’t see. It’s hard to make your heart listen to your head when you’re hurt and confused. It’s hard to trust when you feel like God’s holding out on you. 

But a hard Amen is still an Amen. A tough Amen still says, Yes, Lord, may it be so. Your truth is truth, despite what my circumstances say. You stay the same, regardless of the changes around me. You are good even when my feelings say otherwise. 

This Thanksgiving, you might be like me.  I’m in a good place right now. I’m comfortable and have much more than I need or deserve. Life is ridiculously (crazy, but still) easy for me. Giving thanks and an Amen is easy. But returning to the message of this song and passage yearly (at least!) is crucial because it fertilizes the soil of my soul, strengthening my faith so that I can stand when the storms come. 

Or maybe this Thanksgiving, you’re in a tough spot. Life might not be easy or comfortable right now. Giving thanks and an Amen is the last thing you want to do. Your mind might acknowledge God’s truth, but your heart doubts and despairs. It’s ok. Say the hard Amen. Read His Word and pray that God would align your heart with His truth. Because the truth is, even when the efforts are fruitless, the heart hurts or the bank account’s empty, we can still give thanks for who God was, is, and will always be. Amen.